While I have been putting this idea in my head for quite some time, the original intent was to start up my website in January. I was just going to jump in and get my hands dirty and go, go, go. The perfect idea! It would be a New Years Resolution! yea... right....
Setting a New Years Resolution is setting yourself up for failure. In fact, most people that set New Years Resolutions fail each year. How depressing is that? I pretty much just set you up to fail! This is one of the many reasons I hate New Years Resolutions.
So let's talk about my "goals" for this year. My biggest goal to work on is this blog right here. There are so many times where I have so much spinning through my head and I need to get it out. I have quite a problem expressing myself. If you find that hard to believe, ask my family or anyone close to me. For years I have been told to hold in how I feel. Not only that, I did not even know how I felt or how I wanted to feel. To be honest, the last time I told someone how I truly felt, I was in and out of a mental institute for 4 months. Biggest lesson I learned at the hospital? Lie through your teeth. The first night I was there I met my roommate. His first words to me once the nurses left? He said, "you know what i'm gonna do when I get out tomorrow? I'm gonna get higher than 'a Ukrainian bird' " (I will never repeat what he said. Ever.) Greatest lesson ever (sorry mom) is that a lot of people can't handle the truth (yea great movie line, I know...) If someone asks how are you and you say depressed a hell, you know what they do? They walk away from you. I lost some of my best friends because I told then I needed help and they didn't know what to do. I was just too dark for them. Depression is a serious disorder, and to this day I still need help managing my problems. Luckily, I have a great support system, a new doctor, and of course the unknown, you guys. While every day here will not be exciting, every day will be me expressing my feelings, as well as detailing changes made through my life.
Some of the reason for this site is to give me a schedule. If expressing myself daily helps me, than so be it. But it won't always be about the past nor the present. This site will change me, and my hope is that it may change someone else if possible. So what am I thinking? Well, I have some random thoughts. Just now I bit into a carrot, and my first thought was mmmm beta carotene. Do carrots even have that? Anyways, so let's talk about some goals. One of the easiest to talk about but hard to take action is my weight. I'm very tall, but i'm starting to gain some fat, and its getting to a point of showing. I feel my pants getting tighter, my shirts not fitting the same. I'm getting stretch marks even. Later on, I will do a report on this, but point is, I'm getting fat. So instead of sulking, which I am really good at, I am going to take action. So I am proud to announce my first 30 day challenge: no pop for thirty days.
Now I could go on and on about this topic, but hey, I have the next thirty days to talk about it. So let's talk about what else I have going. Here are some challenges
- fast food nation: cutting the fat
- the great lettuce massacre: the myths of a vegetarian
- four wheel drive: a life on the road
And many other challenges to come! If you feel like you have a great one, leave it in the comment section below!
Finally, one of my big ideas in the works is my business idea: the bucket wish. I am a big plant nerd, and I think everyone should love being able to see the fruits of labor, no matter how big or small the yard is. We have so much waste, and my goal is to take someone's trash and make it into a liveable, loveable garden. Once again, more on that when I am closer to launching.
In summary, I appreciate everyone that is coming here to watch me not only transform my life, but hopefully the lives of many more to come. Thanks!